An ode to a Utah! Driver...

Dear stupid driver, why do you stay so near? Can't you find your way without me? When you pass me you slow down. When I pass you again you risk your life to get back into formation. Do I create the perfect wake in my 1996 volvo 850 Turbo? I know you are from the far away land called Utah! but right now I'm there too. It is very disturbing to see that everyone else here seems to love me or my old car at least as much as you. Why did you just turn left and chase me off the road? Don't you love me anymore? There is oh so much more that I could say, but I may just find a way to say it with my car.