Saturday, March 31, 2007

The little unventor who blabbed

Jimmy was a young old man-child who wanted nothing better than to be the oldest young child-man to come up with the newest little take on the oldest big idea. The oldest idea that immediately sprung to mind was (not springs) paint. But thinking up a new idea about paint proved to be as boring and difficult to focus on as watching ideas about paint dry. There had to be something easier that seemed more difficult to everybody else. There had to be some simple little something that every other little everyone had passed by thinking it impossible. Turned out there wasn’t.

Jimmy took a job at a local ice scream sunday school scooping kids brains out. 6 weeks of sundays he worked at the same little school buttering his bread on both sides to stop the conjecture.

One day a knuckle sized thought thwacked him roundly near the tuba hole. “Edible paint”, he screamed. Well, he didn’t scream, that would have awoken the lobotomized kiddies before they could harvest their organs. Black market organs are so cute at that age, as long as nobody is fussing.

Eventually he was too excited to contain his glee, and tripping over kiddie corpses he fumbled for the phone. He then dialed the local guy who nobody trusts and told him his plan. The guy stole the idea and promoted it as his own. Eventually, he had two large folding tables and a very large salad bowl (to hold the paint chips) as the major components of a vast edible paint chip empire.

Jimmy was disappointed to see that his first little big idea was not only stolen, but was possibly the last little big idea he would ever have. Just then Jimmy had another big idea, he would create a murder hammer that would seek out people with unoriginal ideas. The idea was a big success and he was instantly killed by it. As for the other guy, he was an idiot too, he used a lead based paint to make his edible paint chips.

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