Welcome to the wonderful world of dumb

As I've mentioned before, I generally can't be bothered to rant about anything specific because it is easy to get bogged down in the details. So here is a simple little rant that doesn't get bogged down with information. Unjoy!

We all know that people are stupid. That's not to say that ALL people are stupid. Some are dead. But in general, it is very safe to assume that any random person you may chance to meet is stupid. Stupid people have inexhaustible storehouses of stupid advice. They enjoy beating you over the head with this advice. They like to start forums that waste everyones valuable time.

For example, you might wake up in a good mood one morning and forget that the world is stupid. You realize you could use some good old fashioned learnin' about something you feel dumb about, so you look it up on the Internet. Pretty soon you realize that only stupid people have posted on any resources. That's right, the 8 people in the planet who might know are sitting on the info and waiting for a profit. Everybody else is wasting your time.

I hope this information helps.

the bird

yesterday while driving i saw the bird - the bluebird of happiness - as it bounced off the windshield of a neighboring vehicle. the bird looked not so much happy as surprised. i thought the bird might still be alive, so i swerved to miss it. in my rear view i saw a car spin 360 degrees and come to a stop. since i thought it would provide more time to gawk at the wounded bird, i stopped and pretended to care about the young woman in the car. for such occasions i always keep long stemmed roses on ice in the trunk. as i approached the young lady, i produced the flowers from behind my back. to my surprise, she had something for me as well - the bird. she explained that she spun her car so she could catch the bird in her open rear window.

then something terrible happened, she bit the bird in half. when i asked her why she did that, she said that she only did what i wasn't man enough to do. i asked why the bird had to die and she told me not to be such a girl. then i realized that i was just making all this crap up and i was really very secure in my masculinity which is why i can write such things.

needless to say (but i will) there never was a bluebird of happiness, it was actually blue because it was a blue word, and it was a bird because you can't be heard from one car to another. of course, after having been severed the blue was forgotten, but everyone saw plenty of red.